My pole is my therapist

July 25, 2011 at 6:57 pm 2 comments

This summer has been very difficult for me in many ways. There’s a lot going on in my family right now, and every time I’ve gone home to visit I’ve received bad news. This weekend was especially traumatic, and the worst part is that I can’t talk about it with even my dearest friends because that would be violating my family’s privacy. However, it’s something I’m going to have to deal with for the next several months, and I know it’s going to weigh heavily on my heart.

I’m not going to pretend that when I pole dance all of my worries flutter away like carefree little butterflies.  But I can say that being able to go to class every week still gives me something to look forward to.  Nailing a move still gives me a rush of positivity.  Creating a routine still gives my brain something to do when I need to stop thinking about all of the things that are haunting me.

And I am noticing a difference in my dancing.  I have a song right now that I’m using for a routine; it’s beautiful, but there is a lot of pain in it.  When I started working on the routine today I had already written down most of what I wanted to try, but I hadn’t actually danced to the song yet.  I didn’t realize how it was going to affect me until I started improvising some floor work.  All of a sudden, everything hit me.  I realized that the moves I had written down were totally wrong for the beginning of the song, so I trashed it and took what I had made up on the spot.  It still needs some work, but it feels so much more genuine.  Before today, I had seen pole as a distraction, but when I was dancing in that moment, I began to see it as a channel.  I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have pole dancing in my life, but I am so grateful that I do.

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Entry filed under: Inspiration, Thoughts. Tags: , , , , , .

A word on “cheating” Do it yourself: Apply your own acrylic nail tips (cheaply!)

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Chwenny  |  July 26, 2011 at 12:10 am

    Hang in there honey! *hugs*

    Reply
  • 2. Holly  |  July 26, 2011 at 1:30 am

    thanks Chwenny 🙂

    Reply

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